


but otherwise I am naked

by orphan_account



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "It just means that I can never put it back on again."And yet he does.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 90





	but otherwise I am naked

**Author's Note:**

> I'm guessing that the Mandalorian helmets have some kind of technology or strap or something that holds them in place but for the sake of the story that malfunctioned, or better, never existed. :)

My helmet is gone. In the present moment everything escapes me except for the fact that my face is naked in the sunlight, my vow is broken. I cover my face with my hands. Roll away when I peek through my fingers and see an enormous foot about to crush me.

_Let it._

The voice in my head breathes the words and I shiver.

_Your face is out for the world to see. It says. You are no longer a true Mandalorian. What is the point of living?_

Maybe in a different time, a different life, I would have let the monster take me, overcome with shame, that even in battle, I had let my helmet come off in the eyes of other people, even if it was not my doing. But now, I realize as I dodge a foot again, the right one, this time, I realize that I have something to live for. What will the child do if I am not there? He is the most powerful being I have ever come across, but he cannot even speak. He cannot walk through a small village in an hour or sit himself on a chair. Hell, I don’t even know how big he’s supposed to get, or when he’s going to start growing, because he certainly hasn’t been doing any of that since I’ve been around. I can’t leave him, I tell the voice in my head. It remains silent for moments as I try to fight my way to my blaster, lying a block away from me on this sandy terrain. If I can get to it, I can get this beast in it’s weak areas, which I have identified as right under the eye and in the mouth.

_So you are okay with betraying your religion, you people, as long as you can live to keep the child safe?_

I grunt as the beast kicks me, telling myself that there isn’t time to argue with myself. I don’t listen.

_If I don’t protect him, who will?_

_That is not your concern._

_It is._

My vision is slightly blurry and the giant monster trying to kill me is blocking my view, but I don’t see any people out- a face in a window, maybe, but not one that would care enough.

The voice is silent, but even as I reach my gun and shoot the thing in the mouth multiple times and it goes down in a heap of dust, I can’t shake the nagging feeling deep in my chest that I have broken my oath. That I have betrayed my religion. I trudge to my helmet, lying face down in the orange sand and pick it up. I dust it off and look into the tinted visor and see that I am reflecting in myself. Can I put it back on? It wasn’t my fault that it got knocked off. That is the only thing I know. That, and that I will live another day to keep the kid safe. I want to stare at the reflection of myself in the sun for hours, I haven’t seen the light of a sun upon my face since I was young. I am suddenly aware of presences all around me and without a second though, I slide my helmet securely back onto my head and once again I am shielded. I wonder, as I march past the people staring at me, past the dead beast, if the ache deep in my heart will force me to take off the helmet once again, this time for good.


End file.
